All I Want for Christmas is You
by Sexy Meat Pies
Summary: Miles and Bass have known each other their whole lives and there's obviously something there. Christmas was bound to get awkward some year... or every year.


**Author's note: Just a ficlet I wrote for Tumblr. The prompt: Miloe, Christmas through the years. Angst and fluff and all. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own imagination. All characters belong to Kripke and Co. All similarities to any person, living or dead... yeah, you get the drill.**

* * *

><p><strong>Fifteen years before the Blackout<strong>

"No Emma?" Bass asked, opening a beer and sitting down next to Miles.

"Nope, she went to visit family for the holidays."

"Oh, that sucks," Bass replied. He was lying, of course. He felt like it had been months since he had any time alone with his best friend.

"Go get me a beer," Miles said.

"Sure," Bass said and got up to get it. He called back, "Hey, what time are your folks gonna be home?"

"Probably around four. I don't know, shopping is crazy this time of year Why? What are you thinking?"

"I was just wondering if we were gonna get caught drinking."

"We're gonna get away with a lot more than that," Miles muttered, taking the beer. "Get your coat, and toss me my keys."

"Miles, what are _you_ thinking?"

"I'm thinking we should do something stupid."

"Miles, it's Christmas Eve!" Bass whined. Miles rolled his eyes and grabbed his keys himself.

"You're a buzzkill, Bass. C'mon, we are seventeen, we have to be young and reckless sometime."

"Yeah, but every weekend, Miles? I get caught doing something, I could lose my scholarship-"

"Well, I'm going," Miles cut him off, waking out the door. "You coming or not?" Bass sighed and followed him into the snow.

* * *

><p><strong>Two years before the Blackout<strong>

Miles covered Bass' mouth as they ducked behind the corner, laughing.

"Shh, dammit, Bass!" Miles chuckled. Bass threw his hand off.

"You are so drunk!"

"Like you aren't!"

"Not as drunk as you!"

"Oh, pffft," Miles laughed, sinking against the wall. The sober part of Bass' mind told him they should keep running. But Miles was sitting, so he sat next to him.

"Dude, you just took a leak on a police car!"

"I know!" Miles laughed.

"You're an idiot, Miles, you know that, right?"

"But you love me," he slurred. Bass wasn't sure if he was joking or not.

"What?" he asked. Even his drunkenness, Miles suddenly realized the gravity of his words.

"C'mon, you know what I meant."

"Ok, Miles, I don't think I do anymore. You say we're friends, and then you say other things, and I don't know what to think anymore."

"Shut up, moron. You're adorable when you're flustered."

"Miles-" Miles' lips were on his before he could finish.

"Bass, shut up." he said when he finally pulled away, "You _know what I mean._"

"Yeah… yeah, I do." Bass murmured. For now at least. He knew Miles would wake up in the morning and tell him the kiss never happened. But he didn't want Miles when he was drunk. Unfortunately that seemed to be the only time Miles wanted him.

"What, you're not gonna kiss me?"

"You're drunk."

"Damn right, I'm drunk. So?" Miles demanded. Bass looked at him for a while then shook his head.

"Let's just get home without getting arrested. And then you need a shower and some sleep." Miles shrugged.

"Kay, but first, we should stop by the liquor store."

"No, man, not happening. Let's just go home."

"You go home, dude, I'm getting more whiskey." He tried to stand up and ended up falling, but Bass caught him.

"C'mon, we've got some back at the hotel, let's just get there before midnight, ok?" he was out of breath from basically supporting Miles' weight. "I do not… want to spend Christmas… explaining to your brother that I was bailing you out of jail for pissing on an officer's car."

* * *

><p><strong>Three years after the Blackout<strong>

Bass had his head resting on his fist as Miles walked into the tent. It was just past nine in the morning.

"Hey," Miles said. "Any of that for me?" he joked, referencing the bottle on the table.

"Take it, I don't care," Bass muttered. He sniffled loudly.

"Bass?" Miles called, worried. "What's wrong, man?" Bass shook his head. "Hey, c'mon, look at me."

"Take the booze and get out, Miles, please."

"Bass-"

"Dammit, Miles, for once, please just listen to me and get the hell out!" he yelled, snapping his head up.

"Whoa," Miles breathed, seeing his tear-stained face and blood-shot eyes.

"Yeah, see? I'm a hideous mess. Now mind your own damn business and get out."

"Bass, talk to me, what's this about?"

"You know damn well what it's about." Bass snapped. Miles sighed, as the realization struck him. Rather than saying it however, he just picked up the bottle and poured himself a tin cup-full. He smelled it and noted that it was actual scotch. Nice. He drank some.

"You know, it's usually me who's drunk on Christmas," Miles muttered.

"Things change," Bass muttered back. "You're not gonna leave?"

"Not me," Miles replied, "I ain't leaving you. Not now, not ever."

"You can't promise that," he whispered, his voice broken, "You can't promise me you won't die, Miles, because everyone does. And it seems like everyone I love goes too soon."

"Maybe," Miles agreed, rather than arguing. "But when I take my last breath, I'm gonna be right next to you. I'm a stubborn ass, and you know that. No one's taking me down until I say so. Now c'mon."

"Where we going?"

"You're going back to bed," Miles replied, "We'll do Christmas later, now you need to sleep." Bass nodded and stood up. He stopped in front of Miles.

"You're not an ass, Miles. You're a good guy, usually."

"Ah, no I'm not. You are. Now go find your tent before you pass out."

* * *

><p><strong>Eight years after the Blackout<strong>

"So, Nora can't be here for Christmas. Big deal, Miles, she's just a girl."

"Oh, shut up," Miles muttered, "Stop talking to me like I'm a hormonal sixteen year old."

"Then stop acting like it. Getting drunk over a girl, that's exactly what you were doing in high school."

"You know what? I didn't ask for your commentary and I don't want it. Shut up or get out."

"Miles, I just," Bass sighed and sat down next to his friend, "You know I'm just worried about you, right?"

"I think you've seen me get drunk enough times to not worry about me after a few drinks, Bass."

"Not that. Nora. You have never acted like this about anyone. When Emma broke up with you, you were upset, sure, but when you were together, you didn't need her every second. And Rachel, you basically pretended you guys never happened."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"What is it about her, Miles? I have known you our whole lives and… you never were like with…"

"My God, you're jealous," Miles laughed.

"No, I'm not."

"You so are! Who's the teenager now?"

"Miles, shut up."

"Oh, c'mon! You think I don't know how you feel about me!"

"Ok, you know what? Drink yourself into a stupor, I don't care." Bass snapped, cheeks red. He turned around and walked toward the door.

"You know, you're not really fair here," Miles called. Bass stopped but didn't turn. "You expect me to say something, always have. But you never did."

"You would hate me if I did." Bass murmured.

"How do you know that?"

"Because you're not…"

"What? Is this a gay talk? Are you asking me if I'm gay?"

"Just leave it, Miles." Bass muttered. Miles turned him around and kissed him.

"Come on, Bass."

"No," Bass growled, pulling away. "No! We are not doing this! You do this so much, for so many years! And I am sick of it, Miles! You kiss me and you say the same words, but then you act like you don't care about me! I don't know what I am to you, but I am _not_ going to be the love-sick loser you screw when you're drunk and lonely, Miles, I am not. I am not your bitch!"

"Hey, just calm down," Miles said defensively, "I didn't say you were. I just… God, Bass, I don't understand you. If you care about me so much, why do you never kiss back?"

"I don't want you when you're drunk!" Bass shouted, emphasizing each word.

"I am not drunk! Right now, my hand to God, I swear, I am not drunk."

"Tell me you love me," Bass said quickly, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. "Tell me you love me with out slurring your words."

"Bass, c'mon, man."

"See you tomorrow, Miles."

"I can't just say that, ok!?" Miles called quickly.

"Did you say it to Nora? Or Rachel? Or Emma?"

"Yeah, but… it's you, Bass. I can't… look, we've been friends our whole lives, like you said. Saying those words, seems to strange, too foreign. And I know I'm a dick for saying I can't say it, but-"

"Is it true, though? Just nod, Miles. Dammit, do something! Stop leaving me hanging! You've been leaving me hanging for _twenty years!"_

"You have not… felt like this since we were eighteen, Bass, c'mon."

"You can't even say it about me! I love you, Miles! There! You want me to say it first?! I just did! I love you and I have loved you since high school! Now say it back!" Rather, Miles grabbed him and kissed him again. Bass pulled away. He whispered, "Miles, _please." _Miles searched his eyes for a long few seconds and then parted his lips as if it to speak. He remained like that for a couple more seconds, and then looked away, closing his mouth. Just before Bass walked away, Miles said, softer than Bass had heard him speak in a long time,

"I need you. I know it's not what you want to here, but it's true. I need you, Bass, and- and I have needed you for a long time. And I knew you… felt something for me, but I had no idea it was actually… God, I'm not good at this."

"Don't just say it because I want to hear it."

"I'm _not,_ Bass, I…" he let out a quick sigh of frustration and turned away, running a hand through his hair. He swiveled back around to see Bass staring at him in bewilderment.

"You do, don't you?" he whispered, "You- you can't say it, but- but you do…" Bass gasped softly. "Oh my God." He wanted more than anything for Miles to _say it_, but he knew it wasn't happening. Not soon anyway. But he could tell, he did. He did love him. "Miles…" he hurried over and kissed him passionately. Miles quickly reciprocated the kiss and then began undressing the other man. Just before they fell onto the bed, Miles breathed, softly, Bass would never, ever be sure he hadn't imagined it.

"I love you."

* * *

><p><strong>Sixteen(-ish) years after the Blackout<strong>

"Merry Christmas, brother," Bass muttered, clinking metal cups with Miles. "It sure as hell ain't eggnog, but…"

"Booze is booze," Miles shrugged.

"You seem happy."

"Well, Rachel's alive, thank God. That knife nearly got an artery, but… didn't. We won the war. Yeah, I'm pretty good."

"So you and Rachel… you're really going, huh?"

"Yeah, you know it's weird. Charlie, uh, she actually was the one who tole me to give it a go."

"Wow," Bass aid dryly, "weird."

"I know. But, things are going good. She's a little shaken up after everything, Rachel is, but…"

"Yeah, sounds awesome, Miles."

"Oh, come on, Bass. What? You jealous again?"

"You're a dick, Miles," Bass muttered, walking away.

"Why? Because I won't start another militia with you?" Miles called after him, "Sorry, Bass, but you ruined things between us."

"I- I ruined?" Bass asked angrily, storming back over to him. "_I _ruined things?! You're the one who left!"

"You killed kids!"

"Like you didn't? You wanna know the casualties of child soldiers from conscription ships _you _started?! I don't have an exact number, but I can promise you it wasn't…" he scoffed angrily, "And besides, I know I was off the rails. But you think _leaving me_ was the best option?"

"Wow. You are still the needy little prick you were back then," Miles snapped. "Blaming all your mistakes on someone else, not taking responsibility-"

"You made me think I had to do those things!"

"So you're blaming me for _your _damn dependency disorder?"

"Oh, you son of a bitch!" Bass shouted, going forward. He meant to punch him, but Charlie stepped in between them suddenly. "Get out of the way, Charlotte."

"What the hell is going on!?"

"Charlie, this is none of your business-"

"The hell it isn't, Miles, what is going on with you two? I mean, yeah, you're not on the best of terms, but-"

"Don't think I won't go through you too, kid."

"Hey!" Rachel called, jogging over, looking between them, "Don't threaten my daughter!"

"Mom, I got this." Charlie insisted. Bass back up and then put his hands in the air.

"You're right. Sorry for messing with your perfect little family, Miles. I'll just go somewhere and continue with my sorry little dependent life. Merry Christmas and a Happy fricking New Year."

* * *

><p><strong>Please review!<strong>


End file.
